Mentors

Hang with me and read this passage:

Titus 2 (New International Version)
What Must Be Taught to Various Groups 

1 You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. 3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.


6 Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7 In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8 and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.


9 Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, 10 and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive.


11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12 It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13 while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.


15 These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.

Today I met with a "mentor" for the first time. For years, I've wanted to meet with a mentor. The idea of having an older, wiser woman to talk to, someone I truly trusted, was extremely appealing to me. I can give a notable list of woman I contemplated asking to mentor me. I never initiated. And I had to go through some painful times alone (We are never really alone while we are in Christ, but guidance from wiser Christians is always wise).


But why should we seek to be discipled? Titus 2 has a number of big lessons for the mentors themselves, but I will only talk here for "disciples". The passage cites the following reasons to seek mentorship:

1. To learn sound doctrine.

So so key... in fact, this reason comes before the others. Here's the reason why: without sound doctrine our efforts in our sanctification are going to be misguided. As William MacDonald wrote in his commentary on Titus 2, "Who can measure the damage to the Christian testimony by those who professed great sanctity but lived a lie?" Sound doctrine is the only way to truly fulfill the following purposes of mentorship.

2. To grow in faith, love, and endurance.

A mentor should be strong in all of these areas. Thusly, the person that he/she is discipling can learn to take after their example. 

This really condenses all of the other reasons cited here in Titus. Faith. This flows as a natural consequence of sound doctrine. Love. We love best when we practice purity and kindness, as well as many other Christian virtues. For young women specifically, vs. 4 says to learn how to love their husbands and children. Endurance. Self-control and temperance are also mentioned in this passage. Endurance is a good way to categorize the two. Endurance also means consistency in our growth in faith and love. It holds the two (self-control and temperance) constant.

4. To be encouraged.

2 Thessalonians 3:13: And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.  This could well be a sort of motto for the mentor-disciple relationship. 

5. To be rebuked.

Few people seek to be rebuked. Actually, unless a person is being spiteful, it seems quite contrary to our sinful nature to consider rebuke as a plus. But it is.  The passage above quite often talks about self-control. There is a pragmatic reason the the mentor-discple relationship helps in this area: a good mentor will ask you the worst questions. I use "worst" to mean the questions that you don't want to be asked, the private areas of sin in your life that you do not want revealed. 

All of these reasons are interconnected. They depend upon one another. And all are done through the loving instruction of an older and wiser Christian.

A few more thoughts. This verse sets up an example of discipleship. And there is a key thing to note: Paul wrote in verse 5 that Titus was to teach older women and they in turn were to mentor younger women.  For discretion's sake, Titus was to mentor the young men, but not the young women. Before there is a rousing cry of gender equality in your mind, rest assured that this reached beyond cultural inhibitions. A mentoring relationship is a very intimate one. Ideally, a mentor will know you extremely well and a bond grows between the mentor and the disciple. But let me clarify: this does not mean that members of opposite genders can't learn life lessons and proper doctrine from each other. If this was true, we'd be in a lot of trouble. Christians can learn from members of either gender. But the relationship between disciple and mentor is closer than most and precautions must be taken. 


Further, some may have noticed that I did not really talk about verses 9-10. This is because you, my audience, are not slaves. But there are a few things that should be noted here, lest someone mistakes that Christianity condones the practice of slavery. Another MacDonald explanation: 

We should remember that the Bible acknowledges the existence of institutions of which it does not necessarily approve. For instance the OT [Old Testament] records the polygamous lives of many of patriarchs, yet polygamy was never God's will for His people. God has never approved of the injustices and cruelties of slavery; He will hold the masters responsible in the coming day. At the same time the NT [New Testament] does not advocate the overthrow of slavery by forcible revolution. Rather, it condemns and removes the abuses of slavery by the power of the gospel.... But in the meantime, where slavery still exists, a slave is not excluded from the very best in Christianity. He can be a witness to the transforming power of Christ, and he can adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.

Also, it seems to be a sad reality that mentorship is neglected in many churches. Or perhaps, just the churches that I've been able to observe. But just because a church doesn't hand us a mentorship program on a plate doesn't give us any excuse for ignoring it. It seems that the disciple must seek out a person to disciple them. This was the case for me. And I fear that I've waited longer than I wanted to wait. In reality, I had many godly women around me who would have been willing to mentor me if I had only asked. 

Lastly, I will close with a focusing on versus 11-14: "For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good." There will be a day when Christ returns. We should take note of the parable of the Ten Virgins (Matt. 25:1-13), and seek to be ready for when we will see Christ. If we utilize the tool of meeting with the mentor, we shall be guided closer to hearing the words of Matthew 25:23 ("Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!") as we are mentored in the disciples of love, faith, endurance. 

-Jamie