Stories that made me laugh so hard. Or inspired me.
Today I was on the computer in the school media lab and discovered that someone had created a file called "Once". Curious, I opened it, only to find another file titled "Upon". I opened this to find one titled "A" and then another titled "Time". This went on for about 50 files and actually told a story. At parts it would have multiple files to pick from, like a choose your own adventure story. This was by far the best thing to happen to me all day, and I'm determined to hunt down the mystery creator and thank them. MLIA
Today, my step brother followed me around the house with his acoustic guitar giving me personalized theme music. I adore my new family. MLIA.
Today, I was in line at Target, wearing my new Hogwarts hoodie, when the elderly woman behind me whispered into my ear, "Do you think the ministry approves of Dumbledore letting muggles wear those?" She smiled at me and then proceeded with putting her items on the belt. Old lady, you made my day. MLIA.
Today my friend showed me the late slip that he turned in. His excuse was that he had been "stuck at Platform 9 and 3/4". It was approved as a valid excuse. It made my day. MLIA.
Today, I was looking at Halloween costumes on the Toys 'R Us website. Under the category of "Occupations", there was a bowling ball costume. I now know what I want to be when I grow up. MLIA
Today, I stepped out of the shower and put my glasses on, but noticed that I could see perfectly fine without them! I spent almost 5 minutes thinking about my exciting new life as spiderman before I realized I had my contacts in. MLIA.
Today, my parents went to open house night at my school. While listening to one teacher, my mom took notes. My dad drew airplanes attacking a stick figure version of my teacher. MLIA.
Today at my school, we had a lock down drill to prepare for any intruders. We had to lock the door and sit quietly in the corner for ten minutes. About half way through, the door bursts open and my principal dressed in a Darth Vader suit shouts, "Fools, I have a spare key!" and runs out. It was the single most frightening yet thrilling experience of my life. MLIA
Today, I realized that the two main characters in the Veggie Tales, the tomato and the cucumber, are actually fruits. Now I don't know what to believe. MLIA
Today, while my bio teacher was lecturing, his phone went off. He looked at it, then out the window, gasped, said, "Hold that thought," and ran out of the room. He came back two minutes later holding an ice cream sandwich, and said, "Sorry, the ice cream truck was here." This year may be better than I thought it would. MLIA.
Today, I was cleaning out stuff from my past and stumbled upon a paper from first grade. A question on it was, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I wrote, "A marshmallow." I'm glad I set my standards high. MLIA.
Today, I saw a middle school teacher herding his class down the halls with a pointer-stick and shouting "Feeding time, you animals!" The entire class was making animal sounds. MLIA.
Today, I handed out Raptor Attack Plans to my teachers. Everyone of the teachers laminated them and hung them close to the door. I'm glad to see my school is taking this threat seriously. MLIA
Today, I had to take a test in my AP Biology class. The second to last test question was "Make a barnyard animal noise. You have 10 seconds to comply." I looked up, confused, and saw my teacher staring intently at me. He mouthed the word "Go" and tapped his watch. I mooed. The rest of the testing period was completely silent, except for the occasional clucking, neighing, and mooing. MLIA.
Today, I was in the bathroom at a popular coffee chain. Someone wrote "What would Jesus do?" on the wall. Another person wrote directly underneath that "Wash His hands." And a third wrote "And your feet." I smiled. MLIA
Today, I realized that a lot of people on MLIA talk about their favorite parents. I decided to figure it out. Later, my mom thought our family should go say hi to the new neighbors. My dad and I were sitting in the kitchen as she began making brownies to bring to them. My dad said to me "How much pot do you think we should add to say Welcome?". I think I figured it out. MLIA
Today, I was driving home from work when a huge bird came flying down across the road in front of me. Instead of stepping on the brakes...I ducked. MLIA
Today, I was looking at my statistics book and the first part is called Getting to Know Statistics. On the footnote it stated, "we were going to call this section the Introduction, but nobody reads the Introduction. we feel safe putting this in the footnote, as no one reads footnotes either." Best textbook ever. MLIA
Today, I saw a giant bottle of hand sanitizer in the computer lab that had a label reading "DO NOT MOVE!" I moved it, and a rock hit the window right next to me. I put it back. MLIA
Today, my dad told me that when he was in the army his friend legally changed his last name to "Sir" so the drill sargeants would have to scream "SIR!" to their inferior. Way to beat the system. MLIA.
Today, I went to McDonalds and saw a vacuum cleaner chained to the bike rack. Never have I had so many questions. MLIA
Today in Maths, my teacher noticed a kid who was daydreaming. He walked over to her and asked what she was thinking about. The girl sighed and said "waffles..." Satisfied, my teacher nodded and went back to the board. MLIA
Today I plugged my iPhone into my car speakers and started to use iGun. I turned up the volume, rolled down the windows and started shooting at a girl walking by me. She proceeded to act out the most dramatic death I've ever seen. We're having coffee next weekend. MLIA.
Today, I saw a FedEx and UPS truck racing. This made my life. MLIA
Today, I learned that my history teacher will try to counter-doodle any doodles on handed in work. I plan on stepping up my doodles in that class now to see what I get back. MLIA.
Today, the book I ordered on Ebay arrived. On the front cover, there was a post-it that read: "Stroke the spine before opening. Say hi to Hagrid for me." I'm in love. MLIA
Today, I turned on my laptop and went to connect to a wireless network. One of the options that showed up was a security-enabled network named "NARNIA". I connected by typing in "wardrobe". It made my week. MLIA.
